Sharing vs. Taking Turns

Should Moms teach kids to share or take turns?

Knowing I am from New Jersey may help you appreciate that I speak my mind, and I’ll lay it on the line. “Sharing” is simply the most abused term in parenting today.

It has been my personal experience that the word “sharing” is used by many parents as a passive-aggressive replacement for saying “my kid will have a fit if he doesn’t lay his hand on what your kid is holding, so fork it over.”

Here’s an example. My sons watched as two older boys played basketball at a local McDonald’s play-area. When the boys left, my sons grabbed the basketball and took their turn shooting hoops.  No sooner did they begin playing than a young father strolled over with his barely walking daughter and asked if she could share the basketball. My little guys were so sad!

I naturally intervened on their behalf. I informed the Dad that after about 5 minutes, we would be leaving and his daughter could have her TURN with the basketball. He looked perturbed, but let’s face the facts. Had she “shared” the basketball with my sons, she would have effectively stolen their turn at a game. Where’s the fairness in that?

Teaching kids to take turns is a better life lesson

In truth, there is very little “sharing” in the adult world.  Like it or not, adult life is more about taking turns.  We wait in line at grocery stores, wait for the light to turn at intersections and raise our hand in class before speaking.  If you were shopping and removed a sweater from a rack for closer inspection, would you have to immediately relinquish the item for another customer to look at?  Life itself is more about learning to take turns, and teaching this life lesson early is a great idea for future success. Taking turns is about patience and respect of personal space.

Taking Turn Activities

Some great ways to teach young children the benefits of taking turns are:
1) Board games (we love The Ladybug Game in our house)
2) Active games like hopscotch and hide-n-seek
3) Active play at the park like swings or monkeybars (where one kid rides while another waits)

Sharing Activities

1) Playing on or at a large structure that must be shared like a sandbox
2) Playing soccer

What do you think? Should parents teach kids to share, or take turns with others?